5 Steps To Turn Divisive Into Decisive

Do you ever get defensive when expressing an opinion with another person or in a group setting?
Do you ever feel you have to justify your opinion or make everyone feel your take on something is the right one?
Has a discussion ever escalated into an argument that stonewalls everything you’re trying to accomplish so that the discussion ends up in a stalemate with no action taking place?

If this sounds familiar, you’ve entered THE VALLEY OF DIVISIVENESS.

There is a way to turn divisive disagreement into decisive action.  The following steps help show you the way.


Sometimes, in an effort to ‘wrap things up’, one party may feel that by expressing their opinion-to-end-all-opinions the discussion can be resolved.  It can appear as a need to ‘have the last word’.

Remember that there are no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ viewpoints–only different. Not everyone sees things the same way. It’s easier to take a ‘live and let live’ attitude in this regard.


Not all discussions require lengthy debate. Sometimes, they are more clear-cut where a simple question and answer exchange is all that’s needed. (Body language-and a simple verbal and visual acknowledgement-will often indicate if everyone is on the same page.)

Other times, with more complex issues, debate may take more than one attempt to resolve things. After all, Rome wasn’t built in a day. You may have to ‘sleep on it’ to help you gain a fresh perspective in order to come back later to the bargaining table to continue the work-in-progress.


A sure-fire way to put a person on the defensive is to thrust an opinion on them.  There may be such a wide divergence of opinion on so many levels that, instead facing a stalemate, all parties may be better off concluding to ‘agree to disagree’.

By taking the diplomatic approach through the accepting of ideas or viewpoints vs. forcing opinions can often be the solution to avoiding W.W.III.


There may be times where it seems it’s impossible to come to an agreement on something.  It’s as if a  brick wall goes up when one person’s way of ‘dealing with the situation’ is an immediate turnoff to the other’s.

This often comes down to a simple matter of a difference of style. Different styles can butt heads. There’s usually a valid reason, if we take the time to listen, for the particular actions someone takes or the opinions they hold. The good news is that this inherent difference in style can be lend itself to an awesome learning experience.


In an atmosphere of sharing, there is no need to justify your opinion or pit yourself against another. Everyone is equal. Meaning, we all have strengths and weaknesses. You may do something well that someone else struggles with–and vise verse.

Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Trying a method you wouldn’t normally use yourself but have observed someone else use successfully could teach you something new.

The best companies utilize one individual’s strength(s) in certain areas and another person’s different strength(s) in a more complimentary area.

It’s a logical conclusion, then, that recognizing each others’ strengths and abilities creates a win/win for all concerned.

Showing respect for one another leads to successful relationships on both a person-to-person, group and even on a world-wide level. This, in turn, helps turn divisive behavior into problem-solving, forward-thinking action!


Does this post strike a nerve? Got any methods for turning divisive behavior into decisive action? Leave me a comment below. Share it with your friends across the web, if ya like!

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